Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Girls and high heels

A few days ago I got to have a talk with my girls about my feelings on high heels. 

This all started one Sunday because Gabriella asked me if she could wear a pair of high heels to church.The heels are not over the top, but they are not something that I want her wearing out of the house.

Out of all of my girls, Gabby is definitely my girly girl! She LOVES to dress up and look nice! I don't think that there is anything wrong with that, but I also have to set some boundaries to help protect her.

When she asked me if she could wear them, my first thought was NO WAY! But..... I choose to teach why I think the way that I do instead of just saying no. So onward with the teaching......

I told Gabby that I would let her decide if she should wear them. I told her that the reason I didn't want her to wear them was because high heels bring attention that I don't think that she needs. I explained that when she dresses in certain clothing/shoes that there are men who might look at her the wrong way. When she wears high heels she looks older than she really is and that opens up the door for sexual predators. (This ended up turning into a long conversation about rape and abductions and stuff like that.)

In the end she decided that she did not want to wear the heels :) yay!!!! I told her that I would take her to the store and buy her a pair of pretty shoes that I feel are appropriate for someone her age. She was happy with that plan and so was I!

You see, I don't have a problem with high heels per say. If you wear high heels this is not an attack against you so please don't take it that way. I think as an adult you have the right to dress however you want.

The problem that I do have is that some heels in my opinion are a "sexy" accessory.  Not all heels, but a good amount of them are. I own 2 or 3 pairs of high heels, so again I am not totally against high heels.

The type of heels that I do have a problem with are ones that have a 4+ inch heel, or a 2 inch platform plus 4 inch heel..... you get the point.

I call these type of heels, hooker heels. When I see these on someone the first thing that comes to my mind is street corner or adult movie. (If you own some of these...... Sorry, my opinion,  you don't have to like it.)

I feel that when you wear heels like these you are wearing them to attract attention. You look very sexy in them and whether you realize it or not, people are looking at you.
Mainly men.

Now, if you are married then I feel this is highly inappropriate. Why? Because you are dressing in a way that draws attention to your body by someone who is not your husband.  That is problem #1. Another reason is because dressing that way might possibly cause another man to sin.  A married man might look at you and have lustful thoughts about you or look at other parts of your body because you are dressed that way. That is problem #2.
Your body is meant for your husband to look at and think about, not Joe Bob walking around the mall.

My biggest problem right now is that women my children are supposed to look up to dress like this. I think this contributes to why Gabby wants to dress that way and thinks it is ok. My kids know my feeling about modesty and what they are or are not allowed to wear. BUT it is very hard to tell my kids one thing and then go somewhere and have a "role model" dressed in a way that I really don't think is appropriate.

I have talked to my kids about it and we discussed that different people have different convictions, but still it is hard and something that I am really having a hard time getting past :( 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Birth control

I have a LOT of very strong opinions about certain subjects. One of those subjects is birth control.  I have had people tell me that we are irresponsible for having so many kids. People are quick to open their mouths on what they think I should be doing with my life and my body. That we are not financially stable enough to have more kids. That if we cant have kids without needing state assistance then we shouldn't be able to have them. 

I am going to tell you why we choose not to use birth control. 

First and foremost,  we prayed about it. When Michael and I first got married I had an IUD in place. When we got married we clearly heard God say that He did not want me on birth control.  He wanted us to trust Him fully in the decision of how many kids that we will have. 

That is exactly what we are doing! You don't have to like it, I'm ok with that. It is not your life, it is ours. We trust. We trust God with every aspect of our lives.

I don't think it is very Christian of me to say, I trust that God will provide a good job for my husband, a cure from sickness, our finances.....etc. Then turn around and say, I'm sorry God, but I am going to get on birth control because I don't think that you can handle this part of my life. I know better than You do on this matter. 

No, I trust God with everything in my life. 

God created the whole universe!!! Nothing was left to chance. Everything that He created is perfect! I think that if He is able to do all that then He is able to decide how many kids I should have. If He feels I have enough kids, then guess what?? I won't have any more kids. If He thinks that I should have more, then guess what??? I will have more. 

Not a hard thing to understand. It is not irresponsible.

Plenty of people chose to say that it is irresponsible though because we get state assistance. Ok, great. Guess what?!? It is ALL his anyways! Everything! Everything that I have, everything that you have, everything!  When we die we are not taking anything with us. In the book of Acts (the beginning church) They shared everything! They sold off their stuff to give money to the poor. Others sold off all of their stuff and lived in communities together where everyone took care of one another, they shared each others burdens and no one was in need. 

It is not about how much money we do or do not have. I know that God is going to always provide for us. The bible says that He will provide for our every need. I know that is true! (Even if that comes from state assistance.... that money is His also) I said in another one of my posts that we are better off now than we have ever been! It is 100% true! Guess what? We have more kids now than we ever have too!! AND we receive less assistance now than we ever have! Hmmmmm..... I guess that saying,  "Where God guides,  He provides" is true.

"Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them" (Psalm 127:3-4).

The Bible doesn't specifically speak of birth control and whether is is right or wrong. The only reference to "birth control" is Gen 38.

"Then Judah said to Onan, "Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother."  But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother.  What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so he put him to death also." Genesis 38:8-10

Birth control was not around then. If you didn't want to get someone pregnant then you used what we call the pull out technique. Then sperm is never entered into the woman and pregnancy is avoided.  Sounds a lot like birth control to me.... a person decides that they don't want a kid so they do something to stop it.

Look carefully at the verse..... what he did was WICKED in the eyes of the Lord! And God killed him!!

Now, I'm not saying that God is going to kill you for being on birth control! I'm saying these are SOME of the reasons that we choose not to be on it.

We choose to trust God with everything we have and I know that He blesses us for that. Again, I'm not telling you that you can't be on birth control. That is your decision, not mine. I personally don't feel it is right. If you ever come up to me and asked me if you should get on it, I will say no. I feel that when you are on birth control you are playing God in your life and that you think you know better than the person that created you!! No one knows you better than He does! No one!

I feel that when you choose to play God in your own life then you are also choosing to withhold some of God's blessings from your life. Maybe you are trying to get a job promotion at work and it isn't happening...... Maybe you are trying to sell your house and it's not selling....... Maybe you are trying to plan something and it keeps falling apart.... I don't know, but I think that when you choose to play God in your life then things don't go as smoothly as you want. Why? Because you want your will to be done, not God's, so God's blessings don't come as easily as they do when you are walking in His will.

I'm not posting this because I want your approval or disapproval.  I am simply telling you why we choose to not be on birth control and our reasons.  We are happy with the decision that we have made and nothing that you say to us is going to change the fact that we are letting God decide our future for us.

You may never understand our decision and that is fine.

I have lost friends over this subject before, and it probably won't be the last. At least I know that I am doing what the Lord has told me to do. I am not going to worry about other people's opinions of what they think I should do.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8