Tuesday, June 16, 2015

What you really want to know

As most of you know I have a lot going on in my life right now. I posted a Give Forward fundraiser for us the other night and asked for people not to message me because I really wasn't interested in explaining myself to a bunch of people. Well, you don't listen..... lol I probably received 30+ messages. Luckily, they were from people who I felt actually cared and weren't looking to just be nosey so they could have their next "town gossip story". I am doing a lot better mentally and emotionally today to where I feel I can share with you what is going on. 

The majority of my friends know that my husband has demons in the form of addiction issues. He has struggled all throughout our marriage (and the majority of his teen life on) with alcohol, drug and pornography (there is a blog on here somewhere about that one). This unfortunately is one of those times.

A couple of months ago I started having a feeling that something was off. I confronted him numerous times and he always denied it. A few weeks ago the truth came out and we got in a big fight about it. He ended up going to visit a friend of his (not someone I approve of as a friend) and they hung out and had a few drinks. On his way home he was pulled over for speeding and failed a breathalyzer test and was arrested for a DUI. He was very upset about it and it seemed to really shake him up. I honestly thought (or maybe just hoped) that this was a turning point for him. After he did this I told him I was done, if something like this happened again I would leave. For those of you who don't know my brother is an alcoholic and I grew up watching him ruin my family. I refuse to let my kids grow up like I did.

On Saturday I laid down for a nap and Michael left with Blake to go to the store to buy some stuff to try to fix the lawnmower. When he got home I found open alcohol containers in the car and I lost it. I told him that he needed to pack up and get out. Long story short it turned into a big huge ugly argument, but he did eventually leave. That is what prompted the Give Forward fundraiser and where we are today. 

Now, with all of that being said I want to make something VERY clear!!!! My husband is an AMAZING man!! The guy that I post about on Facebook and all of the wonderful things he does for me, is exactly who he is!!! He spoils me and takes care of me in every way that he possibly can. He is always going out of his way to help others who need it and he is incredibly kind and loving. He is a great husband and a great father and I wouldn't change being married to him for anything in the world. 

The person who I asked to leave on Saturday night is not my husband. Alcoholism is a disease. It consumes your thoughts and actions and makes you turn into someone that you aren't. (My brother is the same way) He needs help. My prayer is that he will make the decision to get himself help. I have not kicked him to the curb with the intention of divorce and not caring about him anymore. I did what I did to protect my kids, my heart and ultimately himself. I have been in touch with him since he left and told him that I want him to seek help. I don't know if that means sending him away somewhere or him getting into different groups/counseling sessions 5 days a week or what. I asked him to meet with some Godly men who would help hold him accountable and help him figure out what is the best option for his situation. 

I know that he can overcome this. Not because of anything that he does, but because my God is bigger than any addiction! I pray that he will choose to make the decision to get help and once he proves to me he is taking the steps to get his life back on track and get himself well he will be welcomed back with open arms. 

I have been through more than I should have ever had to go through with him. I know a lot of you do not think that he should be allowed another chance. A lot of you just want to gossip and talk about us and his issues. If that is what you think is necessary then whatever, go ahead..... I no longer care. The fact is that you are no better than I am. Just like I am no better than he is. He has sin in his life that he needs to overcome, just like I do and just like you do. None of us are perfect and I know that when I screw up that I hope that people will forgive me. This incident does not define who he is.

I love my husband more than anything and I will continue to not give up on him and help him through this in anyway that I can without putting myself or my kids in harm's way. I know that he would do it for me if the situation was reversed and he wouldn't just abandon me in my time of need. 

In the meantime I am trying to raise money in order to get a van so I can leave the house, go to Dr appt, store, park, church or God forbid the ER of there is an emergency. If you are interested.in helping me out at all I would greatly appreciate it. 

Here is the link to my fundraiser https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/5059/blessings-for-the-vincent-family

Some have asked about just sending it to me through PayPal because there is no fee that way. If you are interested in doing it that way my PayPal email is lesliefam7@gmail.com as long as you put it as friends/family then there is no fee. 

Thanks again to all of you who have already supported me! I am blessed by your friendships and so thankful for the outpouring of love!!!